Friday, September 17, 2004


Because some things are best said with discretion.

Posted by Hello


#9/16/2004 10:11:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger ihath

Where is the cake?

#9/17/2004 12:28:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger timx

Cake or no cake - I really like the picture!

#9/17/2004 02:39:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger liminal

yes, emigre you're so right. yet sometimes emotions are an appropriate mechanism to purvey reality, not only how one's feeling. i am so upset about the kidnapping now...after reading the guardian article by klein and scahill...then hearing democracy now today. sometimes there's no time to sleep. people need to know about this... ugh...

so, ok. i relent, give me some tea. i can always use some. i need to relax badly. i'm juggling my synapses.

#9/17/2004 08:23:00 am Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

scones, must have some scones!

#9/17/2004 10:01:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

"Hi Everyone! How are you doing?! Great?! Me too."

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. He he.

Okay, let's cut the crap. SLUGGO AMERICANO IS BACK.

Let me see. How can I add to this cute discussion about a picture of a tea cup?

Oh, how about this? Let's crush up six Viagra, mix it in the tea, give it to Saddam in his cell, and then after an hour or so push Khalid inside and lock the door.

Khalid, your virginity will be taken care of! Excellent!

Later, when you stroll through his old mansions, you will notice that each brick has the expression, "Yes, Saddam!"

Just like you shouted back in his cell.

(Oh, man, aren't you guys glad I'm back?!)


#9/17/2004 10:21:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

Oh Bruno! You brute! You brute! You brute!

How manly you are! I love the way you grab your nuts as you say, "I just can't help but slap J around."

I love the stink of your armpits as you slap J around!

I love your macho strutting around the girls at the website!

You really showed them how strong you are!

Can't you see how Emigre and the others glance at your large biceps!

You're the Man of the House around Iraq Blog Count!

Man, Bruno, everyone is lining up to walk down the street hanging on your arm!

Wow, even Khalid and Alvaro have gotten into line!


#9/17/2004 01:58:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Rosemary

Hi. I think this is a very relaxing and wise post! It sure does remind me, as I write for 3 blogs, to take some time for myself! Thank you! Oh, BTW, ignore those who do not have the capicity to understand anything deeper than...well...a 15 second commercial. I'm sure they are nice people, just wrong!

#9/17/2004 04:26:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

Lol, it only takes someone to say "cake" and someone else to say "scones" ~ then abracadabra ~ guess who shows up. Jeffrey, we missed you. Share more of your wisdom with us, i beseech thee.

(Ihath, you have all the best pickup lines).

#9/17/2004 04:53:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

Okay, Emigre, you're cool. You could have booted my arse off your blog many times and you havn't. I have to give you credit for that.

In honor of your exceptional tolerance, I'll be sincere for a second, but this is gonna be tough.

Uh ... here it goes:


I ... do ... like ... a ... good ... scone.

Whew! See? I can add constructive comments like the others.

All right, that really wore me out. I got to take a break.



#9/17/2004 05:18:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Bruno

Jeffrey --

Why don't you offer something more relevant to this post?

No comments on the quality of the drawing? Doesn't the limited palette of greys and beiges induce a sense of tranquillity? Personally, I find the hesitant lines on the spoon remeniscent of wavery sunlight off a metal edge, and that the slight incorrectness of the drawing of the cup enhance the feeling of the 'cupness' if you will. Also, the situating of the main articles close to the bottom of the page adds a sense of weight to the composition, enhancing the stillness of the mood. The more I look at it, the more I like it.

And then Jeff splatters liquid shit across the comments page.

A pity that a man of his claimed intellect doesn't have anything more to offer. So, in the spirit of things nasty, here is a reply:

#9/17/2004 05:24:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Bruno


Yet more irrelevant crap tossed by Jeffrey into the air ...

Yeah, well, my nuts are easy to grab, although the same cannot be said for another, unnamed individual who might best be described as "scrotally challenged". Perhaps I owe this individual an apology ... it was not nice to puncture his precious pride, and to extract his latent feelings of inferiority with my sweaty, oily, manly fragrance.

It is with a degree of sadness that I witness your projection of the image of superiority onto one that is clearly an enemy. (Sad because I know that this means that you will never stand and fight, to receive the butt bashing you so richly deserve.) Even more worrying are the sexual undertones to your rant, where in your mind, the big bully runs off with all the gals, leaving you clutching your raisins. This says to me that you cannot think objectively, that you view the world through the prism of "the biggest ape gets to mate with all the females" ... this is something that I have picked up in your writing before. You are projecting *your* mindset onto me, and, unfortunately I don't work like that.

Where you see the Iraqi war as a means to unleash your frustrations and rage on a people that cannot fight back, as a means to enhance your own self esteem, I see the war as a moral outrage whose apologists must be challenged and crushed wherever they are. Quite frankly, I think if I get a good butt kicking it would be a good thing, because it would mean that my thinking was flawed, and that I have learned something new from the experience. Hence, grown.

You, on the other hand, avoid serious debate like Dracula avoids sunlight because you know that the premises upon which your argument is based are wrong, and thus you know that further damage to your remaining self esteem is imminent. You are set in your ways, and averse to changing your established ideas.

(And, I doubt that Alvaro and Khalid are "getting into line" for anything. They seem quite capable of holding their own against your feeble efforts ... )

Please, take my advice. Get a wife, a girlfriend, or a rent boy, and find a hobby other than "kick the dog". Honestly, believe me when I say not all guys have bigger dicks than you, (really, that is a common male mental misconception) and that there will be somebody who appreciates you for who you are, not for the Alpha male mask you put on when the big boys are out of town.

Crap, I'm going soft on you.

How embarrassing.

#9/17/2004 05:32:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey


My "cupness" runneth over.

Nothing like watching a mediocre intellect ramble on armed with a Roget's.

Rock on, dude!


#9/17/2004 05:41:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

Lolol. Jeffrey, as i said, we missed you. No one more then --Bruno--, who barely uttered a croak in your absence. Oh all these frog princes! What am i to do!

#9/17/2004 06:40:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey


Me and Brunhilda?

Together forever?



#9/17/2004 07:12:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger ihath

Now that we had some tea and done the madatory polite chit chat with Jeffery, I think we should do some juicy gossip. What good is a relaxing tea break without good gossip? So, does anyone have good gossip to share?

#9/17/2004 07:36:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

Yes I have a gossip

Salam Pax was yesterday on BBC, and he was bold, not a single hair on his head, guys he is really ugly and need to work out.

#9/17/2004 07:41:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre


poor salam. i've heard too much blogging has that effect, your hair falls out and you get puffy under the eyes. but really, maybe it was just a poorly lit studio?

#9/17/2004 07:51:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger ihath

I think the bald looks good on men. I mean 100% bald. It looks daring.

I keep threating to shave my head but my husband won't let me.

#9/17/2004 07:51:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

#9/17/2004 08:05:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

I saw that the Jarrars are looking for sponsors to come to the States. Jeffrey, why don't you sponsor them? HA!Raed apparently got denied a visa because whoever was sponsoring him decided not to because they feel he is "anti-semitic"....that is what his blog said anyway....

#9/17/2004 08:49:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

I will sponsor the Jarrars here in the US as long as they agree to go through a 10-step de-Baathification program (insert devilish grin here).

Yes, I did see Raed's blog and was greatly amused that his constant anti-American and anti-"Jooz" rants caught up with him. Funny, isn't it, that his blog is one long anti-American diatribe and yet we find Raed applying for a visa to come to the US. Typical.


#9/17/2004 09:05:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

ihath, you must have great bone structure to be contemplating it.

i think i've passed the age threshhold for completely shaving my head. suave on a famous weblogger and hip on a teen chick, but i'm neither and i just don't think i could carry it off now.

#9/17/2004 09:08:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

Jeffrey you crack me up. "10-step de-baathification program!!"
Yes I was amused by Raed's post as well....he can't stand America yet he wants to come here....I guess he'll have to marry "The Letter N" (How pretentious! Give me a break!) to get into America!

#9/17/2004 09:44:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger ihath

Gee Emigre, you flatter me. I am blushing. I just think that the bald head would be so liberating. It would make a strong statement like "I don't care what I look like" or "I am anti fashion industry chick". The whole Sinead O'Connor effect.

(Music by U2, Lyrics by Bono, Performed by U2 and Sinead)
From the cd The end of violence

It's a beautiful day today
Everything is going my way
Even the words doing what I say
Oh to get away
To be impossible isn't that difficult
In the city you're invisible
When you come from a small town
Everything is alright
Everything is alright
I'm not your baby please

#9/17/2004 09:49:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Mister Ghost

Is the US running Operation Paper Clip II?
That may be a way for the Jarrars to get into the country.

For those who don't have a clue, the US
during and after WWII ran Operation Paper Clip, where they smuggled NAZI scientists into the country to
keep them out of Soviet hands. Which I have no problem with, since there are times when unfortunately you have to go with the lesser of two evils. Those NAZIs
helped us make it to the Moon and helped to nullify a greater evil Communism.

As far as the Jarrars go, consider their strong Baathist and Anti-American leanings with the Pics and writings to prove it, it would be a complete disgrace for them to be given Visas, when there are millions of more needy Iraqis, whose lives would truly benefit
from being in the US.

#9/17/2004 09:52:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

Now Sinead was one militant chick, to be sure.

Do you remember when she ripped the photo of the Pope in half on live TV?!

Wow, talk about in your face.

BTW, I'm an old punk rocker, so naturally I love the shaved-head look.


#9/17/2004 09:55:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Mister Ghost

I made blueberry muffins today and they go well with
sweet tea, since the blueberries are a bit tart. I use brown sugar instead of white sugar in the muffins, because once you've had brown sugar baby, you never go back. Nah, it's because the molasses works well with cinnamon in the muffins.

#9/17/2004 10:00:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

Good point Mister Ghost. I would be surprised if the Jarrars get into the US with that last name being tied to Hamas (i.e. Nasser Jarrar killed in 2002, leader of the militant wing of Hamas).

#9/17/2004 10:00:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

do you remember the Lou Reed perfect day lyrics?...

Oh it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging x2

#9/17/2004 10:08:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

*to self* i hope he bakes muffins better then he does conspiracy theories. a half baked muffin is an embarrassment, even for a spook.

#9/17/2004 10:20:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

#9/17/2004 10:26:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

Mister Ghost,

I like your posts a lot. You have all my intelligence (thank you, thank you, everyone -- no, don't cheer, it's embarrassing) but lack my ugly, boorish, vituperative side. I wish I could be more like you. Keep posting, brother!

Hey, I just remembered that I gave you a Zing!Zing!Zing! Award a few months ago at Iraqi Bloggers Central. I think it was for a post in which you likened Raed Jarrar to Hunter S. Thompson! It was dead-on.


#9/17/2004 10:28:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

"we" are exchanging pleasantries, not "slinging". i am tolerant but not stupid.

#9/17/2004 10:37:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey


Right. Sorry about that. Exchanging gossipy views it is.

Mister Ghost, I tracked down the entry where I gave you that award back in May. Here it is:

>Mister Ghost last night was given the coveted Zing!-Zing!-Zing! Award by the editorial board of Iraqi Bloggers Central.

>For his contributions to devilish wit and deadly accuracy with the rapier, Mister Ghost will receive a weekend prison visit with Martha Stewart and a garage-full of yellowing copies of Martha Stewart Living.

>Mister Ghost's keen eye led us to the now-obvious connection between Raed Jarrar and Hunter S. Thompson. Mister Ghost wrote on our Comments Pages:

>~ I'm praying for a George Bush re-election, because Raed, the Hunter S. Thompson of Iraqi Bloggers (I hope future historians give me credit for
being the first one to make this this analogy) will have a magnificient and glorious breakdown.
All captured in his blog for us mere mortals to imbibe.


He he. Still like it. Gonzo fits Raed perfectly.

It's looking very likely that Bush will prevail. Like you, Mister Ghost, I'll be camped out at Raed's blog, waiting for the feverish gnashing of teeth to commence.


#9/17/2004 10:59:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger ihath

Did you see the movie "Heaven, both the leading woman and man charcters shave their heads towards the end of the movie. They look so cute together after that. After seeing that movie I tried to convince my husband that both of us should shave our heads but he refused. I still like the idea.

As for food, I like sushi. Just give me raw fish please.

#9/17/2004 11:18:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

lol, some people just look great with no hair on top.

as for fishy i tend to agree, sushi with halfcooked tuna ~ eww.

#9/17/2004 11:20:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

I just stopped by Faiza's blog and read Khalid's note. Here it is:

>Hi: This post is by me, Khalid.

>After a year and a half of the invation of Iraq, we are still under occupation.Alot of American people care to know what things are really like, what is going on in Iraq, and how is our daily life going.
The Jarrars (Faiza, Raed and Khalid) are preparing to come to the states to make a tour, talk in Universities and other places, meet as much people as possible, to talk about Iraq and the war.

>We are looking for sponsorship, if anyone is interested please contact me.

Okay, is it just me or is this completely nuts? I have read EVERY ENTRY by the three Jarrars on their blogs. You could not find three more anti-American people unless you went into the heart of Fallujah itself. And now they want to make a "tour" of the Great Satan?! This is just ridiculous. What? Khalid, Read, Faiza, you think we have forgotten how many times you have called Americans evil imperialists, the source of all that is bad in the world, from armed violence to homosexuality and sexual depravity?

A tour? Yeah, riiiiiiiiight. Listen, Majid is in school in Victoria, Canada. Just admit that you guys aren't making enough money in Iraq and you've decided to try a new country. Jeezus. Make a tour?! Okay, I've heard everything now.


#9/17/2004 11:30:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

unless it is seared, seared tuna is ve-ery nice.

#9/17/2004 11:34:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

Lol. Jeffrey is starting to repeat himself again, somebody shove another scone in his mouth.

#9/17/2004 11:47:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

I took it that the Jarrar's wanted to come to America to "enlighten" us about Iraq. I think Raed just wants a way over here so he can be with his beloved "Letter N" I said, he should just marry her, then he could get over here to the "Great Satan"...maybe he could...then again, maybe not....

Here is their ceremony:

"Do you "N" take thee "R" to be thy lawfully wedded...."H"?

"Do you "R" take thee "N" to be thy lawfully wedded..."W"?

Good grief!


#9/17/2004 11:55:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey


As long as you're shoving scones into my mouth, could you make that a cranberry for me?

Hey Julia, do you know where Niki (the Letter N) lives? I can't remember. I know she's originally from Iran. That's what I recall.

Maybe I'll go back and check that out.


#9/17/2004 11:59:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

This is from Raed and the Irani:

Raed writes:

>When I first met you, I had this feeling that you are my “enemy” in a way or another. I mean… I just had the same feeling when I met the first Israeli person in my life.

>Our governments spent years and billions of Dinars to let us believe that anyone coming from Iran is an “evil Persian”…

>Well… you are kind of evil, but in a sweet way :*)


So Niki lives in the Middle East, right?


#9/18/2004 12:00:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

Jeffrey, where N lives is irrelevant. She is out of your league.

#9/18/2004 12:04:00 am Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

No apparently Niki lives in California! Can you believe that? Her English is way too good which makes me think her family is from Iran but I bet she was born over here.


#9/18/2004 12:16:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

#9/18/2004 12:21:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

From Niki's blog:

>Thursday, September 09, 2004
My favorite moments--in no particular order--from last night's game between Iran and Jordan, when R. and i stood as the only fans of the iranian team (and i as the only woman) in a section with thousands of hardcore Jordanian soccer fans:

Can we assume "R." is Raed?


#9/18/2004 12:43:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

The Letter N

#9/18/2004 01:05:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

#9/18/2004 01:22:00 am Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

Yes I think we can assume that "R" is Raed. That is what is so ridiculous about it when you read her blog. We KNOW that her name is now Niki from reading Raed's blog yet she still calls herself "N" and we know that "R" is Raed so why does she pretend we don't know who she is talking about?? Could be that she is a fan of Riverbends and she is ripping off her style of writing. You know how River always refers to relatives with letters. Like River's brother "E"....Dumb!!

Raed's blog though is better than a soap opera. I mean how many girlfriends has this guy had since we became aware of him back in Salam's blog? I think three....maybe four...I'd have to go back and check Salam's blog again. And each one of these girlfriends of Raed's ends up dumping him and he gets all distraught on the verge of suicide....then miraculously he recovers only to "find love again."....HA! Like I said, its a great soap opera via blogdome.


#9/18/2004 01:29:00 am Assalam Aleikom Blogger Jeffrey


Shhhhh. Be careful talking about those other girlfriends. "N" might be listening.

He he.


#9/18/2004 01:37:00 am Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

Ahhhh. You are so right "J". Perhaps I'd better not talk about such things. shhhhh

Julia or ("J^")

#9/18/2004 03:32:00 am Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

#9/18/2004 03:41:00 am Assalam Aleikom Anonymous Anonymous

Nice drawing.

- Ben.

#9/18/2004 02:47:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

Thanks Ben.

#9/18/2004 02:51:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger emigre

Just cleaned up a few of Jeffrey's comments. Before anybody gets in a pickle about it, a brief explanation;

Jeffrey dug up and posted several personal speculations as to a certain webloggers identity and location. This is bad taste and unacceptable behaviour, especially considering a related party to said certain weblogger is currently being held hostage.

#9/20/2004 01:39:00 pm Assalam Aleikom Blogger Bruno

Damn! Sorry, I had to leave early, but I'm back now!

Any scones left?

Just this cranberry one - but somebody has taken a bite out of it ... yech!

Some people never finish what they start. I wonder why?


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